Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
