how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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