hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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