did you get engaged???
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.