Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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