I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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