My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize