So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
