I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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