Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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