HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
