I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize