my vag is so smooth its legendary
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize