just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.