If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.