I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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