There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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