is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
