But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
