Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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