i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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