So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
