I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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