the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
