it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize