Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize