Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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