all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
