i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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