are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
