Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
