Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother