so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....