So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck