I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night