I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm at about main and main street
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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