Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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