we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
