but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm both gender and math confused
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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