At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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