Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize