We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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