last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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