dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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