oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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