You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
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Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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