I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....