i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.