You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.