I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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