Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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