she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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