guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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