yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
