I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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